Cool It

March 2016

There’s a trick an old man taught us. Always smile even when doing the most menial of tasks like grocery shopping. Accidentally brush your hand against a pretty girl’s butt in the vegetable aisle? Smile. And not the creepy Steve Buscemi kind of smile.

Because if you’re not flashing those pearly whites, she’s filing for sexual harassment.

We know this not only because of personal experience but also because of Coolet. She had to smile her hardest when she accidentally bumped her breasts into an old man’s face.

Luckily for us, we’ve never made the mistake of accidentally grabbing at Coolet’s chest in the watermelon/fruit section. We say this because Coolet holds a first-degree black belt in judo. We’d be forced to choose jail as opposed to having our ass kicked by a girl.

While Coolet’s license to kill is something to be cautious about, she’s also a huge sci-fi fan. She proved this to us by demonstrating the Shii-Cho Star Wars lightsaber combat technique with a cucumber.

We didn’t know whether to be really impressed with her flawless technique or to laugh out loud at such a ridiculous scene happening in the middle of a grocery store.

But we kept our mouths shut. Some of us still need our best smiles when out grocery shopping.

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